My Little Prime Evil: Friendship is Terror

Spoilers To Follow!


Forewarned! Its been a little over a week since the release of Diablo 3, which over the past week, has sent millions of people away from other games and out into the world of Sanctuary. Only this time there is another level of hell to get through in the Inferno.  The game saw the addition of some new evils, such as Bashiok, Thrall of Azmodan or Zarhym, Terror of the Grave, but also some old classic monsters including Diablo himself and this guy who first made his debut way back in 1995.


The Butcher! And my Wizard in Archon form.


Even after only a brief week of the game being released, I can already tell what I like about the game, and what I do not like about the game.




  • The game is not WoW and plays completely different from WoW. With the exception of perhaps an in game auction house (one day perhaps?) to streamline sales.
  • They made gold have relevance again. Unlike in Diablo 2 where people would be gold capped on damn near every toon they made because other things were used for currency.
  • The game is challenging when you hit the end of Nightmare and Start of Hell Difficulty. You can brute force your way through the normal mobs, but the elites provide a challenge all of their own.
  • Single player.
  • A decent storyline, albeit with a predictable ending, and an easter egg.
  • New elite attributes aside from Fire/Cold/Lightning/Aura Enchanted and Stone Skin.
  • The damage scaling system. Instead of synergy (which was integrated much later in Diablo 2, not at its launch), damage is modified by the weapon (even for casters) and scales with your character’s primary attribute and + damage items and gems.
  • Your mercenaries and companions have some dialogue. Which is a nice interjection between the carnage every now and then. Just don’t pair up your wizard with an enchantress and then find the enchantress again in act 2…… er…. unless of course you are into that stuff!




  • Elites are infused with rabies. And by this I mean, you may find yourself legitimately screwed if you run into a combination like, I don’t know, Mortar + Frozen + Nightmarish (fear) + Jailer.
  • Lack of Gems and No Runes/Runewords. I am not terribly impressed with the variety of options of what gems do, nor the fact there are no runes or normal socketed body armors/weapons to make rune words. I am guessing this is to prevent runes and runewords to become the standard of currency again.


You trudge through the acts, encounter a ton of new bestiary, new fortifications that the evil forces are driven to overtake and claim as a permanent outpost of hell, and new parts of Sanctuary. And you conquer your way through it all! To reach the apex, the summit, the pinnacle of heaven where your final test awaits.


Diablo, Lord of Terror


For some reason, I really like the final room. While its set in a divine and ascended matter, the tinge and crumbling debris help give it a nice battle tested setting. They also used the same model as the final area where you fight Diablo in Diablo 2, only the Star of David is omitted (to avoid any possible religious snafu).


And then just like that, its over. The worlds of Heaven and Earth are saved (again) by a mortal entity, but surely there must be something else out there to enjoy as a reward for the fruits of our labor. The heroes and heroines scour the world fervently for this place, where cows and ponies and humans can all coexist in harmony, peace. Where cupcakes are found a plenty, the water gives birth to a vibrant plethora of rainbows, and cuddle bears and sunflowers illuminate the land. And the heroes seek out this place. All in the name of merciless carnage.


Yes, blizzard has come through, with perhaps its best trolling of its players to date, by releasing its own revamped version of “the secret cow level”. Much like in Diablo 2, you need to gather a few crafting materials to get to this secret level. They made it much more difficult to get the items in Diablo 3, a lot of cases you have to wait for a rare layout to spawn as the map, with a rare spawn enemy in that map, who has a (you guessed it) very rare chance to drop the crafting reagent you need to make the item. And well, after you get the item… I will just let the screenshots do the talking here.


That Ominous Cow Ghost


I too am Udderly pleased if you have taken the time to read this, as well as the puns…. so many puns…..


After your dialogue with the ghost of the cow king, the fun starts:


Whimsyshire, and you thought Disney was the place where dreams came true.


The alluring glow of the rainbow calls to you. You become placated, drawn in by its soft glow and the aura of mystique that pervades it. You approach the entryway and reluctantly left click on it, wondering what you are about to see……


Cuteness Level: Newborn Baby
Troll Level: Korean Starcraft 2 World Champion




I Knew someone doodled this level in the middle of Physics class!

Who wants CUPCAKES!? Also pancakes are dead, so you know.


I guess I should, you know include a shot with ponies and bears BEING MERCILESSLY SLAUGHTERED too, right?


All Hail the teddy bear overlord!


Overall the game is a solid 9 in my books for what I have seen in the first week, opinions certainly vary! I do know that you got me good blizzard, thank you for trolling the heck out of me with that Easter egg level. If you have played the game, in its entirety, what do you think of the game? Did you enjoy what was put into in by the May 15th release date, or did it come up short of what you were expecting? And most importantly, did you enjoy the secret pony level, with all the sounds and warped machinations of what they passed of as music?


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