Deck the Brawls with Boughs of Slaughter (Ra-ra-ra-ra-ra, RA-RA-RA-RA!)

He refuses to use conventional methods to tackles his problems.  He once wore a fishing hat to raid, and died on every fight not knowing. Instead of taking long walks on the beaches of Stranglethorn, the beaches of Stranglethron, take longs walks upon him. And he still comes back for more.


He is:


The Most Un-Interesting Scrub in the World.


Here with his advice on:  Brawling Tips for 5.3.


The brawler’s guild some some modifications made to it during the 5.3 patch, with the changing of current rank 8 bosses into their own rare category, as well as adding two new ranks of bosses to the foray for the most dedicated and geared individuals. On top of this, items could be obtained from various places around the world, that would return you to the brawler’s guild to face a special combatant. These combatants award 50 VP per kill, a designer shirt to match your mog with appropriate flavor text, as well as varying amounts of gold with 400 being the lowest, and 900 the highest. Some of the new bosses model after the races of Pandaria, in a similar fashion to the way the Glorious! achievement works.  The fights themselves for the most part, do not require as much coordination as say, the Disruption challenge, where a high level of movement and damage are required. Nope, In fact, things start off with a bit of good luck, from a Grummle?


Level 1: Grandpa Grumplefoot/Knockoff Grumplefoot


This is the first challenge (according to difficulty) of the new bosses in Brawler’s Guild that can award VP and their matching shirts. To acquire the quest for this item, simple visit Grandpa Grumplefoot at the Grummle Exchange in Kun-Lai Summit, and then dance with him. The item will automatically appear in your bag, and it will lead you to either Bizmo’s Brawlpub or Brawl’gar Arena. From there, and will all other challenges, you will need to buy and select the option to use your challenge card to defeat the boss. Grandpa Grumplefoot is a fairly straightforward encounter.


Grandpa Grumplefoot will drop assorted luckydos around the area to either help or harm you. Red luckydos damage you if you run over them, blue luckydos will heal you if you run over them, and after about 30 seconds, he will summon yellow luckydos, which move around on their own and deal 200k damage to you if you hit them. Other than his standard melee ability, his has two flute channels, neither of which can be interrupted. The first channel, is a heal on himself which will restore .5% of his hp per 1/2 second for 3 seconds, the other is a DoT channel on you, that deals .5% of your health every second for 3 seconds. Additionally, if you stay in his melee too long he will use an exploding luckydo which deals 100k and knocks you back. Grandpa Grumplefoot has roughly 5.5M hp, which for a 2 min fight, puts the dps requirement at 50k. The reward: 400g, 50VP, and shirt that occasionally toots when you wear it! Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 2/10


Level 2: Ty’thar/Raptorhide Boxing Gloves


Your next challenge is a bare knuckled fistfight where you are meant to look like your character is ready to do some serious melee combat with your spiked mitts drawn. The item for the challenge is obtained by completeing the barrens weekly quest and exchanging 1 radical mojo for the Raptorhide Boxing gloves.


Ty’thar is a troll fighter, who is modeled out of the Mike Tyson Punch-Out games from the old 8bit Nintendo. While his standard melee attack is fairly weak, if he connects with one of his special punches it will automatically knock you out. If your struck by 3 special punches, you lose. Like wise, you must “kill” Ty’thar three times in order for the fight to end. Each time you or Ty’thar recover from a knockout, you come back with 75% and then 50% of your health before the third KO ends it. His three special punches are Left Hook, Right Hook, and Slam. In order to successfully dodge the punches, you must move opposite the direction of the punch being thrown, and backwards for slams. Ty’thar has  a sparse 4.2M HP, however, each time he gets KO’d and recovers, you are unable to interact with him to do damage for about 10 seconds, which cuts the effective berserk timer to 100 seconds. Still, the dps requirement to make the reduced berserk timer comes out to 42,000. Float like a feather, sting like that pissed off hornet that comes out of nowhere on your way to work. The reward: 400g, 50VP, and the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 3/10


Level 3: Master Boom Boom/Hozen Fur Fuse


Here is where you start to see the boss gimmick mechanics start to take flight. This is probably one of the most annoying pieces to get, as the item is placed into your back after killing a random number of hozen in the Burlap Trail within Kun-Lai Summit. To make life easier, it has been highly encouraged to the the quest, “The Burlap Trail” and crush quicker respawning hozen with your Kota Beast, as opposed to trying to dps farm them on the ground.


The Master Boom Boom encounter itself involves a lot of… you guessed it…. BOOM. His basic attack is a dynamite toss, and intertwined with the regular dynamite sticks, are heavy clusters of dynamite which hit for about 50k if they land on you. They also knock you back and form an impassable pillar where they land. He will throw 5 of these out in each of his transitions, at which he will start the gimmick of the encounter at 66% and 33%. At those percentages, we will summon a huge block of TNT in the center of the ring attached to the 5 large clusters that are placed out. They will all ignite and move towards the TNT. You stamp out each dynamite clutser by running over it before all 5 get to the center. If even one reaches the TNT, it will explode for 900 MILLION (!!!) damage, so even with dispersion, you will not be able to survive the mechanic. You will have to do this twice at both the splits, but after that, the fight is just be able to dodge the dynamote clusters. And If you can dodge dynamite, then you can also dodge the avoidable repair bill. Master Boom Boom has 5.06M HP, and with all the moving you have to do to dodge dynamite and stomp the TNT fuses, your dps requirement comes in at around 44,000.    The Reward: 400g, 50VP, and a shirt that goes BOOM to match that explosive personality. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 4/10


Level 4: Razorgrin/Impeccably Sharp Tooth


If I were to ask you, “What does 2-time NBA Champion, Lebron James, have to do with our next boss?” you might be a bit perplexed as to what they could have in common. Razorgrin is a shark that is heralded as the Terror of the South Seas. However, upon entering the arena with him, you’ll find that his only ability he has, is Flop. He will flop around helplessly towards you, using no other special abilities whatsoever. This item is obtained via fishing, specifically, from the pool of the day in pandaria, giving the highest chance compared to other world pools.


The trick to this fight, if at any point in time you enter his melee range, its an automatic death. So, while you have nothing special to avoid, the fight will keep you moving more than most normal raid encounters in Throne of Thunder, to ensure that you cant just stand back and tee off on the shark. Razorgrin has 6.5M hp, so for all movement you have to do, you also have to pull out 55,000 dps to beat the berserk timer. The reward: 500g, 50VP, and a brand new sharkskin tunic. Yeah, tunics people. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 2/10


Drop on the deck, and floplike a fish!

Drop on the deck, and flop like a fish!

Level 5: Splat/Vial of Reddish Ooze


This is one of two new items that lead to the brawler’s guild that are acquired by doing scenarios. While Ive yet to get either from a heroic scenario box, I do believe they are both from normal Greater Caches of Treasure only.


Splat is an exact replica of the rank 3 Brawler’s Guild standard fight, Blat. Reddish in her demeanor, Splat slowly moves around the arena, splitting periodically into smaller replicas that also move slowly around the room. The only catch is, every time she splits, a pool of red is created at the point where she split, effectively covering up the entire floor of the arena. Similar to the first encounter, killing off the clones will serve no purpose, as killing her remains the sole objective. Splat has  6.8M hp, and again, your moving and damage skills will be tested, as later on after a lot of adds have accumulated, standing in melee, will result in many hits, possibly fatal to you. Try to unload your burst at the start of the fight, as it will be harder to do so later on, aside from saving shadowfiend. You will need at least 58,000 dps to comes out with a victory before the berserk timer. The Reward: 500g, 50 VP, and a shirt thats soaked in, hopefully, ooze. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 3/10


Level 6: Dippy & Doopy/Frost-Tipped Eggshell


Have you been collecting pets? Our next boss hopes you have been. The Dippy and Doopy encounter is a reward from defeating an elite pet battle in northern Icecrown. Doopy is anaquatic type, so bring your favorite fliers or magical pets to battle to give yourself the best chance to get this item.


For this fight there is an unusually long pause to begin the fight, which unfortunately takes about 8 seconds off your berserk timer. When the boss appears, its the same old dippy that melee have learned to love and lovingly throw their keyboard at. Only this time, Dippy has brought their much larger and slower cousin, Doopy! Both of the penguins perform exactly the same, they have one ability in Peck, and will be knocked back each time a spell is applied. The only difference is, Dippy is still a hyperactive kid on a triple shot of Ritalin, and zips around the ring, while Doopy is the Fat Owlbert of the bunch. (HES A BIRD PEOPLE!) Dippy has 2.1M hp, and Doopy has 4.3M hp, collectively giving the encounter 6.4M HP to eat through at the end. In order to make life easier for you, you need to kill off Dippy first. Doing so will allow to to plant in the ground and free cast on Doopy, as his movement speed is too slow to every catch you while you plaster him with spells. 60,000 DPS and a lot of moving in the first 30-60 seconds, will net you a kill and some free ranged bird for dinner. Do not stop moving while Dippy is up and cast SW:P for instant damage to knock him back as often as you can.  The reward: 500g, 50VP, and a slick new Tuxedo Shirt. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 4/10




Level 7: Mecha-Bruce/Modified Chomping Apparatus


The Fan Favorite and proverbial pincushion finally makes his return. Whats that? You wanted to get your Haters Gonna Hate achievement by picking on poor ol’ Bruce? And as soon as you get done beating Bruce again, the item to challenge him again pops right into your bag. Only this time, the new and improved version of Bruce is definitely harder, better, faster, and quite possibly stronger too.


The fights starts out the same way the normal Bruce encounter starts, he hits you with his weak melee, you can stun him, and OH NO THE CHOMP IS COMING let me just walk off to the side over >>>> this way. And so you move off to the side expecting the same old fight, well this time, after every chomp, Mecha-Bruce powers up. He gains stun immunity, 40% movement speed, 40% reduced casting time for power up, and 40% increased damage, each time he chomps, and it stacks. In addition, if you thought you were going to run, Mecha-Bruce puts you in a Stasis for 5 seconds, rendering you unable to move from the chomp that follows immediately after he re-enters melee range. Because of this, every time Bruce powers up, you should position yourself in the corner farthest from him, so that time elapses from the stasis, giving you time to move just before Bruce arrives to chomp. Mecha-Bruce has 6.55M hp, so dealing with all the stuns and the amount of damage you need to pull off is around 63,000. The Reward: 600g, 50VP, and your right to heckle any brawler with your Crochide shirt. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 6/10


Level 8: Blingtron 3000/Old Dusty Robot


And here is where the gimmicks really start to pile up. The Blingtron 3000 is the bi-pelagic predecessor of the current Blingtron 4000 model, which fittingly enough, is where the item comes from to open up this encounter. Since you can only get one get package from blingtron on your account per day, if you want to get this encounter wait until you are on the toon you want to fight with before accepting the gift.


The Blingtron 3000 encounter is not so much a dps check, as it is awareness. The goal of the encounter is to take the small, even more obsolete Blingtron 2000 adds, and line the up in such a fashion that, they create a chain link from Blingtron 3000 to the Gnomish Tesla Coil located in the opposite corner from Blingtron 3000. Blingtron 3000 does not move, but will occasionally launch errant rockets at your location, which will deal 200k if they come in contact with you. The Blingtron 2000 adds damage is dismissible and will not put you under duress. Once you overload the coil, run to an empty corner, as the coil will overload every blingtron on the floor in contacts with. it will chain up to the Blingtron 3000, and if you get caught in the Tesla Coil overload, it will hit you for 400k. While Blingtron 3000 has a large health pool at 21.8M hp, once the tesla Overload Hits it, it gains a debuff which increases the damage it takes by 900%. Effectively, you can chain a minimum of 6 adds up (7 is a much safer number) to chain to blingtron in a circuit. Each add has 140k hp, making the damage you need to do at around 1 million to the adds. Once Blingtron is vulnerable, its 21.8M HP is cut to an effective 2.18M hp, bringing the grand total to 3.18M hp. So in 2 minutes, the amount of dps you need to pull is a sparse 26,500, but the key is getting the adds to be where you want and not dying to overload or rocket strikes. The reward: 600g, 50VP, and some washed up, hand me down shirt from last year. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 5/10


Level 9: Argh/The Bear and the Lady Fair


This is the second of the items that can be found in the scenario ward caches at the end of each run. This quest is a bit harder, as the dps check skyrockets compared to Splats. The Bear and the Lady Fair is a romance based off of…. Romeo and Juliet?…. Beauty and the Beast?…. and involves you the antagonist, trying to kill over these “lovers” before they form an unspeakable union!


For shadow priests, the gimmick/buff to this encounter is extremely unfavorable. There are 3 trampolines spread around a set of two tables stacked upon each other, with the person you have to kill, Argh, located on top. If you successfully bounce on each trampoline in succession, the next attack you deal with deal triple damage. While this sounds nice, it really only enhances Devouring Plague or Mind Flay: Insanity for the timetable its up. You can choose to avoid the trampoline aspect and plant on the ground, dealing with the other half, Raaaaaaargh. Raaargh is a bear with 25.3M hp and any dps to him is a waste. Raargh hits moderately hard for around 25k per swing, and will periodically interrupt your casting for 4 seconds. The good thing about Raaargh is that you can fear and CC it to no end and no diminished effects. Allowing you to plant and nuke Argh from a far. Argh has 10.8M hp, so the dps check is not pretty by any means. If you find yourself getting spell locked especially while you are casting Mind Flay: Insanity, you may want to switch up to From Darkness, Comes Light so that you can still cast your procs while shadow is coming back to you. The DPS to beat this comes in at 90,000, which means if you haven’t already, its time to start using the brawlers potion before the fight starts so you can get 2 off. A safer bet is closer to 100k, as getting caught with spell interrupt takes 4 seconds off your berserk timer each time. The reward: 700g, 50 VP, and a shirt that just permeates the room with a aura of “Chivalry”. Difficulty for a Shadow Priest: 6/10 (ignoring trampoline), 9/10 using it.


Cow meats bear meets Trogg. (GET IT? MEATS!)


Level 10: Ro-Shambo/Paper Covered Rock


This item I have found to be the most rng based drop of the set, as I harvested over 300 sets of pumpkins and other assorted vegetables before I finally found a paper covered rock amidst the refuse of the untilled soil. Fortunately, while it may prove difficult to come by while you play your Farmville for the 265th time, it is one of the easiest fight to beat the gimmick around.


Ro-Shambo is a giant hand, a la Adams Family style, that hits you with basic attacks until the gimmick where you are forced to choose Paper, Rock or Scissors. If you win, Ro-Shambo is stunned and takes 500% more damage for 5 seconds. If you lose, Ro-Shambo smacks you for 2/3 of your health, and if you draw, nothing happens. Each time you select, a version of what Ro-Shambo selected is placed in the area, if he wins or ties, its a normal version, if he loses, it will be an extremely weak and aoe-able version. The good news about this is, if your running Deadly Boss Mods, the mod will tell you which option to select ensuring you win each time, and ultimately trivializing the encounter. If you wish, to enjoy the feeling of playing a true blind draw, I would turn off any mods that can give you clairvoyance before attempting this fight. Ro-Shambo has 12.2M hp, but you can eat through good chunks of that with the debuff while hes stunned. Over 2 minutes, the dps to Ro-Shambo to Ro-Shambo is 105,000, with or without the damage debuffs. The reward: 700g, 50VP, and when in doubt, ROCK. Difficulty: 1/10 Using DBM, 8/10 Blind Draw


Level 11: Blind Hero/Well-Worn Headband


The Blind Hero is the closest thing to resembling the vanilla WoW/Warcraft 3 demon hunters, as he is classified as undead, but wields the dual swords and wears the blindfold as its signature. The item to get to the blind hero actually comes from playing carnival games. As the blindfold has a small chance to appear in the darkmoon prize box you get upon completing the games. While you can only do 5 per day on any character, the prize boxes are not soulbound, so you can send the box to the toon you want to get the blindfold on.


The blind hero, has no basic attacks, and instead assaults the area with three attacks. A small cone, frontal crush which hits for about 175k. A 180 degree cleave, which hits for 200k, and a full 360 degree slash which hits for 350k. The small crush is the attack he will use most often, and he will swing roughly once every 2.5 seconds with this attack. This is a very high mobility fight, and you probably will not be in the same place for more than 3-4 seconds at most. Because of this, you may want to make sure you have the Divine Insight and From Darkness, Comes Light talents, as they will boost your mobile dps. If you get to more than 30 yards from the Blind Hero, he will walk around aimlessly for a moment, allowing you to get off a little burst before having to get back to moving. You are going to have to make good use of self healing as well, liberally using Power Word: Shield and Renew at all times, with Desperate Prayer/Angelic Bulwark in emergency situations. The Blind Hero has 9.3M hp, but with the amount of moving involved, it might seem more like 19.4M. In the end, if your able to do 85,000 dps while dodging at least 95% of his swings, you will come away with a victory. The reward: 900g, 50VP, and a shirt that just begs to be looked at by fellow brawlers. Difficulty: 9/10




Level 12: Mingus Diggs/The Digmaster’s Earthblade


HEY THERE LADDIE! ARE YE READY TO GET YER KNEEPADS ON AND DIG? The Mingus Diggs is the dwarf to help you out.  As if insulting us wasn’t enough by not getting the creepy claw to pop up in our archaeology tab (seriously, 350 finds and not yet?)  the item to fight Mingus Diggs comes from digging up tol’vir finds, or trading in completed Pandaria finds for crates of Tol’vir artifacts. Once you have the item, find 5 or so of your close friends to give you some raid buffs, and break out the flasks and feats, you’re going to need them.


The Mingus Diggs fight has a lot of things going on that you will need to keep track of, at the start of the fight, there is the dreaded pause which cuts about 8 seconds off of your berserk timer, and once you see the dps check, you will be begging for that time. You do not actually fight Mingus himself until the end, but you engage 4 obelisks in the corners of the arena, that each do the same ability. Mingus is invulnerable and flails at you with his shovel that hits for negligible damage. The obelisks do not attack, but instead channel a dot that stacks to 250 (you’re dead if it goes above 125), and each stack is a separate debuff from each obelisk. The in order to stop the channel, you must move into close proximity of the obelisk (10 yards), and it will stop channeling. Finding the balance of managing your debuff stacks with self healing is the key to the fight. For myself, I managed to survive on shields on the first two obelisks, used Desperate Prayer on my way to the third, vampiric Embrace in between moving between 3 and 4, and dispersion if any stack got over 100. If your stacks get over 100, move to that specific obelisk and disperse to negate the effects, as the debuff only lasts 5 seconds, but refreshes every 1.5 seconds the obelisk channels. And now for the FUN facts. Each Obelisk has 4.3M hp, in addition, the debuff deals 1150 damage per second per stack. Its harmless to start, bothersome around 40-60, and lethal at 75+ stacks, you want to try and clear before then unless you are truly confident in your survival skills. And Mingus? He also has an additional 900k hp that you have to chew through. That brings the total pool to 18.1M hp to do. There are no special damage increasing modifiers or debuffs for this fight, you need to bring yourself and any enhancements available to you. If you’re able to get the obelisks down, you get one last little jab from the encounter, as the immunity surrounding Mingus takes 3 seconds to fall off, therefore cutting the total time you can fight from the start from 120 to 109 seconds. So, at any given time over 109 seconds you need to be averaging 167,000 dps in order to beat the encounter. >>167,000!!!<< This fight is not for those who want to try the fight just in hopes to get lucky, you need to unload. Your reward? 900g, 50VP, A shirt that begs the question “Can you Dig it?”, and a free Coronary from Blizzard Entertainment! Difficulty: 15/10


So, now that you have reached the end (hopefully!), what does the Brawler’s guild do to highlight your accomplishments. The promoter of your faction’s Brawling Arena sends you a letter and includes yet ANOTHER SHIRT to show off your truly epic brawling achievements, and 10 points towards your achievement total.


Challenge: Defeated


This fight was completed  with an item level of 530. I was not using the cape from the Celestial Blessings Quest. I did have the Legendary Meta gem. It is advisable to use a flask for the encounters, if not, and you’re a bit lucky, the Crystal of Insanity from Sulik’shor is a good alternative, as it provides 500 intel, stam and hit through spirit. Towards the higher ranked fights, the extra effects from food either via feast or Mogu Fish Stew helped to provide a nice little increase that may serve to be the extra mile one needs to beat the encounter.


I don’t always brawl, but when I do I make sure to look as hideous a possible. Stay bloodthirsty my friends.


Best of luck to fellow brawlers ready to test their mettle against their increasingly formidable opponents! Rawr!


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